November 14, 2018

Blowing Off The Cobwebs

I'm blowing the cobwebs off this long-dead blog... and my almost 16-year old non-dating status.

Shocked?  You may be, but nobody is more than I am.

I have a long, long history of bad choices, broken relationships, ghosts of relationships past, and Calamity Jane-like misadventures in the wild and wacky world of dating (scroll down past my cutie boots grandson (but slowly; that was a lovely day)).  I have know my own dating style for a very long time.  And it didn't work.

After the Buckaroo Bonsai debacle (What?  You didn't click the links above?), I finally recognized that my partner-picker was broken.

So... I moved on.

Got a new place.

Loved my job and the people I worked with until I just loved the people and hated the job. 

Embraced old friends and made new friends.

Quit dying my hair so I could see what was under all that Miss Clairol.  Enjoyed the salt (mostly) and pepper.

Traveled with friends.

Went to blogmeets.

Found out my daughter, given up at birth, had left a letter for me in her adoption file.  Met my daughter for the first time.

Lost my mother.

Tried and because the Princess Mom had urged me to at least try it, and I did because I felt guilty I had let her down.  Hated the responses I got, and ditched it.

 Became a Nana, twice over.

Retired.  Got comfortable in my own skin and single status.

Lost weight over time.

Dyed my hair crazy colors just because I could.

Have for years told everyone who asked that I was done actively pursuing a relationship, but might, just might consider one if I tripped over it.  Mostly I figured that it would never happen.

And then...

I almost tripped over one recently, when with less than 24 hours beforehand I snagged a ticket to the Cubs/Brewers game offered up by an actor friend.  I met him and two of his industry buddies at Wrigley Field.  And we sat, me, Kevin, Voice Actor, and Stage/Screen Actor.  Just before the 7th Inning Stretch, Kevin got up to use the gent's room.  Voice Actor scooted down and started chatting with me.  We talked a little about baseball, family, books.  He was kind of cute, but a clearly a bit younger than me.  Honestly, I thought he was just trying to be nice.  And then Kevin came back, and Voice Actor didn't relinquish Kevin's seat.  Hmmmm, thought I.  That's strange.  And then the Cubs got their behinds handed to them, and it was time to go.

Exiting Wrigley field is a process, and sometimes you just stand in your row and wait.  As I was faced out towards the exit aisle, I felt warm hands on my shoulders giving a gentle massage... and I leaned back into it for a moment.  Nice.  And then the aisle was clear, and it was time to go and enter the mob.  On the main level, I was enveloped by the swarm and was losing sight of the guys, when a Voice Actor reached behind to grab my hand and make sure that I stayed with our group.  Warm hand, I thought.  Nice guy, I thought.

And before we all went our separate ways, Voice Actor made sure to give me his card and tell me he'd like to hear from me.  And, clueless me, I thought he wanted to be friends.

So... the next day I dug out his card and sent him an email saying that I had really enjoyed meeting and talking with him.  A couple of hours later, he asked when we could talk on the phone, and included his phone number.  Completely bumfuzzled, I sent him back an email and included my phone number.

And he actually called.  Holy shit.  And he was interested.  In. Me.

But Mother Nature had interfered and dropped the miserable creeping crud that's going around on my head, my sinuses, my chest, and my body.  Dying sounded good at that moment.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT.

So, I truthfully (and in a gravelly voice two octaves lower than normal) told him that I was smack in the middle of the flu, and had an upcoming (and epic) blogmeet coming up, and that I would contact him when I got back to schedule a time to get together.  Rookie mistake.

A week later, finally, mostly, over the terrible bug, I spent twelve hours in either direction driving in my girlfriend's pick up truck to and from Tennessee for a blogmeet, embracing old friends and new.  When I got back, it took a week for my backside to go from numb to oh-my-gawd-I-think-I'm-dying, to back to normal, and for my sleep cycle to normalize.

In the meantime (yes, this is long, but what did you expect after so many years of not spinning a good yarn on a blog?), my good friend Cheryl from my cat show days who I hadn't seen for a long time, invite me into Chicago to spend a day exploring Eataly.  As I was on the train, I got a text from another dear friend, telling me that she, too, was in the city for a meeting, and when could we get together?  I arranged to meet Erin for dinner later in the day.

In between meeting Cheryl and catching up with Erin, I stopped by my old after work stomping grounds to have a glass of wine or two and relax.  My Kindle charge was low, and my phone charge was lower, so I dug out a charger and plugged in behind the bar.  I had a brief, but wonderful, conversation with one of the servers who I have known for yonks, and who shared the news that she and her lovely husband are expecting.  Hugs were exchanged.  Good wishes.  I also shared hugs with bartenders I haven't seen in a while.

And then I went face-deep into my latest book on Kindle... and paid no attention to what was going on around me.  Until there was a guy standing next to me saying, "My friend and I would like to buy you a drink.  Please come down and sit with us."

I probably didn't handle this as graciously as I could, but... 1) book; 2) he didn't introduce himself; 3) he didn't say why they were interested; 4) I was f*cking plugged in and reading; 5) if you are interested, YOU move to talk to me, don't expect me to move for you.  (Yes, I had a princess moment.)

So I looked up, smiled, and said, "Thank you, but no.  I'm really enjoying my book."  And then I face-planted back into my book.

But, oddly, this brought Voice Actor to mind.  How sweet he'd been.  Such a gentleman.

(Can't believe I'm telling this whole story, but bear with me.)

So, later that night, I related the previous two stories to Erin.  And she whapped me upside the head and asked me what I was waiting for.

The next day, I realized that I'd dicked around long enough with Voice Actor's interest and scrolled through Facebook's upcoming Events page and found a live music so at one of my locals that looked good.  So I sent Voice Actor an invitation and commented that fancy-schmancy beer and music looked like fun, did he want to join me?

Well, blow me down and call me Dorothy Gale, he said yes.  And it was supposed to happen tomorrow.

Meanwhile, at another one of my local's, a nice guy(older, widowed) that I'd chatted with asked me if I'd like to go to dinner some time.  I took it as another it-won't-happen moment, and shared phone digits.  And then promptly forgot about it.

On Sunday, Voice Actor IM'd me that he had met another person, and that, to be fair, he needed to bow out of our date, because he needed to give his new relationship a fair shake before going out with anyone else.  Call me a hopeless romantic, but, disappointed as I was, I really did wish him well, offer up friendship, and let it go.

I figured that was the Universe's way of letting me know that singledom and dating are probably my best option.

And that is when the Universe stepped in and whacked me upside the head with it's left shoe.

Today, a Mr. Nice Guy from my local called.  I held up my phone in horror and just let it wring.

I let a couple of hours go by, and wrestled with the message the Universe is sending me.

Apparently, I may have a broken partner-picker, but the Universe has other ideas for me.

So I called him back, an we're going out for dinner on Sunday.

I'm dipping a toe back in the dating world.

(But I'm wearing a burkini, mask, goggles, and swim fins for a quick get-away.


Beth Donovan said...


Anne said...

Thank heavens we don't get to plan our lives out - the Universe has so many crazy things in mind for us, doesn't it?

Christine said...

Oh, this is exciting! I actually said "YAY!" out loud. :) Keep us posted.

Phyllis Barber said...

You're brave, Leslie Spiller. Good for you!