What Did I Miss?

Wondering why that first date you thought was SO successful didn't lead to another?

[T]he next time you go on an amazing first date, before you tell your friends about it, before you broadcast your joy all over Facebook, do a little self-check:

Was he a little too agreeable, a little too down-to-earth? Did he barely talk about himself and only ask questions about you? That’s not necessarily a positive attribute, you know. Were you impressed that he wasn’t trying to impress you? Because a lack of bravado on his part could just as well reveal his disinterest. Did he seem just a little too perfect, almost as if he knew the exact right thing to say at every moment? Because that’s really just the sign of someone who’s been on a lot of first dates.

Darned good advice, I'd say, and info I wish I'd had back in my thirties when I re-entered the dating pool.

Venus and Mars Get Schooled

PJ Media had two great posts about dating mistakes women make with men, and dating mistakes men make with women.

Favorite bits?

From John Hawkins:

"[I]f he flees the relationship like you just contracted Ebola after you sleep with him and that’s going to upset you, well then, you should probably wait a little longer to make sure he intends to hang around. It’s also worth keeping in mind that to you, going out with a man three times, sleeping with him, and never hearing from him again may be a disaster, but to him it’s probably going to be viewed as a win. Not saying anyone’s right or anyone’s wrong with that, just noting a big mentality difference."

From Belladonna Rogers (who is a whole hell of a lot wordier overall, but knocks it out of the park with this pithy one-liner):

"If you don’t want a full female-brained answer, try to formulate your questions so that the only possible answer is a 'yes' or a 'no.'"

Go read them both. It's worth the trip!

Whoa, Nelly!

This is the second time in a row my friend's pants have imploded within hours of arriving in Chicago for a visit.  I don't know if it's more of a sad statement on the quality of Levi's 550's or he's just really happy to see me...

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I may not be athletic, but I am not a sissy when it comes to being open to something new.

I had lunch today with my one of favorite visiting tourists at Jimmy's Restaurant.

Then we had a date with Zombie Jimmy...

... at Illinois Gun Works.

A big ol' smoocheroo to my favorite Norwegian from the North Woods for gun safety orientation and range instruction.  I made him proud by: 1) not doing anything stupid; 2) striking exactly where I was aiming; and, 3) stopping ol' Zombie Jimmy dead in his tracks.  Weapon of choice?  9 mm Walther PPQ.

Now I need more practice, damn it.
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Cross-posted on the Omnibus.

Whoa, Nelly!

One of my friends accepted my invitation to Fab.com, and I got a little spending money from Fab as a result. I tripped across an offering from a trio of handmade sea salt caramels (original, dark chocolate and cabernet) from Sea + Cane Sweets and I couldn't resist -- especially since it cost me little more than the shipping to indulge.

Oh. Mah. Freakin'. Gawd.

Ooey, gooey, melt-in-your-mouth perfection, every dad-blamed one of them!

I like 'em all, but these Dark Chocolate beauties...

... really should be declared illegal because they're so addictive.

How good? So darned good that I looked up Sea + Cane Sweets on the intertubes, only to find out that they're right in my own back yard.

I'm of the belief that Valentine's Day is over-hyped and overrated. If you really want your sweetie to know you love him or her, do something special on any of the 364 other days of the year. And these sinful confections from Sea + Cane Sweets would be an awful special gift indeed.

(And if you want an invite to Fab, email me at omnibus - dot - driver - at - gmail - dot - com. They've got cool, very contemporary stuff, and they ship within a short amount of time, unlike some of the other online discount luxury goods sites.)
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Cross posted on the Omnibus.

Three Fer

You Are Not Clingy

You couldn't cling to someone even if you tried. You're too busy being independent. You're perfectly happy to do your own thing, and to be honest, relationships mess up your groove.  Make sure you make enough space to have someone else in your life ... even if you're single right now. A little clinging can be nice in small doses. Try it sometime!

Are You Clingy?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

You Are a Light Pink Rose

You represent sweetness and grace. Your vibe: Kind and gentle Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend

What Color Rose Are You?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

What's your Romantic Personality

Created by alq

12526 other people got this result! That's 42%

VIEW ALL RESULTSTAKE ANOTHER QUIZ!

Independent woman!

You are an independent woman! You have a life, friends, hobbies and love is just another bonus to your perfectly rounded life! You are exactly what others are looking for, so keep it up, dear and when love finds you, surely you will develop into a true romance-type!

This valentine's day, if you are single, have fun with your friends, but do look around! When you go out on Valentine's day, there will be other singles looking for someone too, so don't stay in your comfortable zone of friends - try something new - explore! You might get lucky!

If you have someone, spend some time with them - maybe sometimes they felt a bit left out when you are constantly busy with your own life. Pay some attention to them - they deserve it!

Hmmmm...

Does online dating really work?  That's the question I'm currently exploring and it turns out I'm starting out using first generation technology (Match/Chemistry) instead of third generation technology (mobile dating via smartphone apps).

I'm already intimidated by my new phone, which is certainly smarter than I am.  Also, I'm not big on long phone conversations, and I only text for utilitarian purposes.  I hate the idea of that Facebook app that tells the world where you are at any given time.  Too much information!  The idea that the kind of smartphone that I own tells you quite a bit about my level of... um... just how suggestible I might be is hair-raising.  So the idea that an app might let its entire population of users to where I am and that I might just want to hook up for a brief meeting totally freaks me out.

This is probably an age thing, but I don't find any of this appealing.  On the other hand, I'm more likely to meet a great guy in playgrounds where great guys go...

Bleah.

Yes, Yes, YES!

Found via Matt G, Letters of Note has posted a letter by Ayn Rand that nails it perfectly:

Any person who wants to live for others — for one sweetheart or for the whole of mankind — is a selfless nonentity. An independent "I" is a person who exists for his own sake. Such a person does not make any vicious pretense of self-sacrifice and does not demand it from the person he loves. Which is the only way to be in love and the only form of a self-respecting relationship between two people.

Again, I say YES.

Some Days...

Sigh...

What Not to Wear...

... if you want to impress a guy on your first date:

Seriously!

Giving Credit...

... where credit is due:

It doesn't matter how much you look like McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy. If your boss regularly accuses you of being too dreamy, and your day job is serving Big Macs, your date is likely to subject you to careful scrutiny on a whole laundry list of stringent criteria.


And one of those may be the credit card with which you pay the bill (assuming she lets you) at the end of the evening of your first date. It's not that you necessarily have to pick the most prestigious piece of plastic from your wallet, but it might be a good idea to match the card you use to the interests your date displayed during your time together. If you didn't bother to elicit her interests, it's unlikely to matter how (or how much) you pay.

Oh, really? I'd rather you fly your flag proudly, whatever your interest -- I'm eventually going to find out about your interests anyway.

Anyway, do you really care what someone who would judge you on such a superficial criteria really thinks?  If you do, I don't think you're the one for me!

Testing, 1, 2, 3

When in doubt, post Blogthings!

You Are Hedonism

You believe in enjoying all of world's small and large pleasures. Life's too short to feel guilty. If it feels good, you do it. And you try to avoid pain at all costs, because pain is a major bummer.  And while you enjoy the baser pleasures, like food and drinking - there's more to you than that. You find joy and delight wherever possible. You truly live well, and you're proud of that fact.

What's Your Ism?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

You Are Mittens

You seek comfort in your life. You want to feel as warm and cozy as possible. You are naturally nurturing and caring. And you always make sure to take care of yourself! Winter is your time to hibernate. You love to curl up on a cold night, even if everyone else is going out. And when you do venture out of the house, you bundle up. You want to feel as warm as possible.

Are You Gloves or Mittens?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

Your Life's Path is Gold

You seek companionship and good times. You love being around your friends and family members more than anything else in the world. You believe other people are the key to living a happy life. In return, you provide them with good company and true friendship.  You are charming and outgoing. You have big personality that others don't easily forget. You love luxury and high quality goods. Luckily, you are quite successful and good at making money.

What Color is Your Life's Path?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

Your Heart is Logical

You are wise and discerning. You focus on what really matters in life. You can't fall in love with just anyone at any time. Everything needs to align for you. You are a crusader. You will go to the ends of the earth to fight for what's right. You have a deep love for the world and humankind. Romantic love is a bit more complicated with you.

What's Unique About Your Heart?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

The Start of Something Big

After just a few days on Match.com and Chemistry.com, I've discovered what could be a lucrative next career -- as a photographer for guys wanting to make good matches.  Sheesh.  Half the match hits I get have no photos whatsoever, and three quarters of the other half have godawful out-of-focus pictures snapped with camera phones, pictures of their dogs, kids, families, buddies, cars, boats, favorite vacation hot spots, etc.

Guys, seriously -- post at least one good photo that shows off your face.  Take the time to put a decent shirt on and spend a bit of time on your grooming.  Comb your hair.  Trim your beard/mustache.

Women care about this stuff.  (And, for what it's worth, I bounce every single match that doesn't have a photo without ever bothering to read the profile.  I assure you I'm not alone in that.)